Preoccupied

I want to immerse my entire self into my grieving, but life keeps getting in the way.

My mind keeps getting caught up in other things. I need quiet and space to be able to really get my mind around such a delicate topic as my sons death.

This morning I had a moment to just be alone and breath. It was nice.

I realized Leo died doing what he loved. Sleeping in bed :). That was a happy realization.

Having those moments are so precious. I need more time to reflect and think without the distractions of silly extended family members, who are shady and full of hate.

I pray for them. They are in Gods hands. I can’t wait to see God change their lives for the better. Soon I hope.

About

Welcome and thank you for visiting my blog.  In April of 2013 my wife and I lost our son to SIDS. I decided to write about my feelings and experiences to share with you all because dealing with this alone would be crazy. Here you will read my raw, uncut honest thoughts. I hope that in some way my journey can help someone else as they deal with tragedy.

At about 2 am on Wednesday, April 11, 2013 our world was shattered by the sudden passing of our 3 1/2 week old son, Leo.

This blog is my way of remembering our baby son and how I am doing trying to moved forward. I will always love you, Baby Leo.

Love, dad

11 Months

Leo,

There have been many ups and downs ever since you passed away. 11 months ago today, we found you dying in our arms. You were so precious and handsome. I still find myself anticipating all the fun we were going to have. I was going to take you fishing and teach yo how to golf. I was going to take all 3 of you to the beach to make sandcastles. We had joined the gym so that we would be able to keep up with you and your sisters.

That all changed when you went away to Heaven. Your sisters bounced back relatively fast. They would have had fun with you.

My feelings have become manageable, even tolerable. Yet in this final week before we met you a year ago, I find the sadness is creeping in like a high tide.

I love you so much son. Ask God to help your mother with her pregnancy, thoughts, and feelings. Ask God to watch over your sisters. Finally, ask God to watch over the baby who is in your mama’s tummy.

I can’t believe it is almost your birthday?

Love dad