Angry Again

I have noticed that I have been getting angry a lot these days.  I have a shorter temper than usual.  I see all these people having holiday adventures with their sons and it makes me angry.  Why do I not get to experience that?  

We’re Broken People

As I continue navigating this dusty valley of grief, I stumble and scrape my knees.  I fall and push  my bloody hands into the dirt as I look for comfort.  My tears are muddy from weeping for the loss of my loved ones.  

We all crack and brake at some point. What we do and how we grieve is where we splinter.  Taking steps toward comfort can look very different for each of us.

At the end of the day, Jesus was and continues to be my comfort.  This does not mean that dealing with my grief has been any easier.  I do not have an inside track on comfort.  

As a matter of fact, lately I’ve been feeling really down in the dumps.  I’ve made some really dumb choices and I’ve put God on the back burner.  I feel like I need the Lords guidance as I continue to stumble though this valley.   I know I’m not alone in doing this.  We all trip, stumble, and even break.  When we ask for help, God is there.

Lord Jesus, I really need your love and guidance.  My depressing thoughts have spilled over and I know I need you to help clean up my messy soul.

God doesn’t owe me an answer

God doesn’t owe me an answer.  

Well, that’s difficult to accept. 

I’m often lost,

nowhere to be found,

stuck in unimaginable heartache!

My tears have tears,

this wound so fresh,

pick at the scab and it will bleed.

Our blood, as thick as molasses and as dark as my dreams.

I still feel immense pain.

I remembrer, I will never forget.

I feel sick.

The life I knew before is over.

God doesn’t owe me an answer, 

but I still ask anyway.