Most people mean well when they are trying to console a parent grieving the loss of a child to SIDS. Unfortunately, some just miss the mark. Here are the worst things you can say to grieving parents: (Yes, I have been told all of these at some point over the past year)
Oh, that sucks.
Gosh, I lost my ________ (aunt, friend, dad, cat)! I know how you feel.
Soon, you’ll get back to normal.
At least your baby wasn’t like 2 or 3 years old when they died. That would have been way worse.
I’m sure you’ll have another one someday.
What will you do differently next time?
I often think this is probably kinda what it looks like when people go to Heaven. You are barely there a moment when you see all the little ones bouncing on clouds. They are having the best time ever, forever.
I think he is happy and has tons of friends. I also think this is how we will reunite. I can’t wait to push him on that tree swing.
I think I miss you most on days like today.
Went to La Vista yesterday. I remembered the last time I saw my boy. His limp, lifeless body. I feel sick and sad and over everything. I also remember the last time we were all together at the South Bay YMCA parking lot the afternoon before he passed. Angela and I were so excited to finally start life with our 3 kids. That was one of the last times I can remember truly being happy.
Today we had a scare with Angela and our newest bun in the oven, Zoe. Went to the hospital and Angela was put on disability. Now it’s time to focus on the new baby.
It reminded me of last week. I woke up to Angela screaming the same way she had the night Leo passed. My initial thought was “oh no, Lily died in her sleep!” I was so relieved to find that Angela was just suffering from a Leg cramp. Lily and Aly were ok…
I am glad it wasn’t something worse. Not sure if I can handle that.
I really need the strength of The Lord these days.