New baby

Last week, Angela took a pregnancy test and it was positive! This was so exciting because I can’t help but feel like Leo has already met this little baby up in Heaven. I am at peace with my son’s passing. He will always be my son and I will always love my Leo, yet I feel that I am beginning to be made whole again.

New Baby in the Garden of Angels

Today, when I went to visit Baby Leo, I was mew with the funeral setup of another baby. I have seen many funerals at La Vista since we buried our son, but this was different.

Seeing the setup and the little concrete vault brought back many memories of the week we lost our son. The feelings of love and caring attitudes came flooding back to mind. Amazingly, I now remember those days with a strange fondness. Emotions were so raw, so real, so basic.

I remember holding the little casket for the last time as I handed it down into the grave. I remember thinking just how lite it was. I remember feeling like my life was over. I just wanted to be with my son. If that meant me dying, so be it.

I also remember people being nice. This was before my wife’s father passed and attitudes changed.

As I reflect, I realize, that first week wasn’t when it was difficult. I was too stunned to feel much of anything. It was a blur.

As I reflect on this beautiful green lawn, only a few feet away from my son, I know how this other family is feeing. I know that nothing but time can make things right.

Baby Leo has another angel to play with up in heaven.

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New Year

Lord,

I pray that this year will be a year of healing and trust. I am committed to your plan for my life. I feel this overwhelming need to push forward and push out. I want you to lead me to my path of glory. Lead my family. Watch over ALL of my kids. Lord, thank you for being my guide and my inspiration.

Amen