Sad doesn’t quite describe it.

I am feeling Incredibly sad and melancholy lately. I just don’t really know
How to proceed. I don’t know what to do. I am tired. Tired of trying to be strong. I find myself going to open houses and talking about this year with realtors. It’s been nice to have someone to talk too. I’ve also come to the realization that I have been using alcohol as a crutch rather than something that is fun. This is not the way I want to live. I keep getting sick and now I have a peanut allergy that is out of control. I am just so tired.

Respect & Honor

Respect and humility are interesting. I feel like it is about pride that people want unearned respect. I have fallen into the trap of the powers and rulers. I have been that guy who has tried to exert my power over others. I also have had it done to me. Interestingly, I have to humble myself and notice the many good things about others; not focus on the 1 bad thing.

Open Prayer

I’m sitting in the back of the church tonight at Selah. I feel like I need to be alone and reconnect. A nice guy named Greg walked past me just now and out of nowhere that “tonight you need to embrace what you feel.” I think this was inspirational because today has been a very trying day.

I am going to press into God and my feelings tonight.

Lord give me strength to deal with everything in my life. It is time for me to push into my future. I hope to build upon the life that you have created for me.

Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am angry! Very, very angry!

I am pissed off! I am so damn mad my head is spinning. People are creating problems then they expect me to just “deal” with it. Sorry, but if I am presented with your issues than I am going to deal with it. Later, they get mad at me because I deal with it in a way to where they feel like I’m stepping on their toes. Uh, what do you expect me to do.

God, I need your help. I need you to lead me in the right direction. Help me lord! Help me!