About

cropped-image11.jpgWelcome and thank you for visiting my blog.  In April of 2013 my wife and I lost our son to SIDS. I decided to write about my feelings and experiences to share with you all because dealing with this alone would be crazy. Here you will read my raw, uncut honest thoughts. I hope that in some way my journey can help someone else as they deal with tragedy.

At about 2 am on Wednesday, April 11, 2013 our world was shattered by the sudden passing of our 3 1/2 week old son, Leo. 

This blog is my way of remembering our baby son and how I am doing trying to moved forward. I will always love you, Baby Leo.

Love, dad

4 year angelversary 

Today we remember you Leo! We never will forget our little Buddy Bear 🙂 Four years ago your soul went home to Heaven. I’m often heartbroken, I’m usually numb to those feelings. Some days are better than others. Today was a good day, your mother and I went to the cemetery and we cleaned your headstone. We also repainted one of the engravings on your headstone. Today, as always, I wish you were here. I love you with all my heart, my son. Love dad

4

Today

You

Would

Be 

4

Unexpected 

I received an unexpected gift at the cemetery yesterday.  Click on the video link to check it out https://youtu.be/_d6wg9uVG2A

Breaking my heart 

I feel my heart breaking all over again.  I find myself getting more sad, internalizing more emotion, and feeling more self conscious.  I’m really not sure why.  

An Overwhelming Season

I am building a bridge (I am overwhelmed)

Between my past & my future (I stand face to face with pain)
Between death & life (I stumble as I try to understand)

Between the Hell of grief and the Heaven of hope (love is the key to cross) 

 


Nine Inch Nails – Hurt

I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, The only thing that’s real.

The needle tears a hole, The old familiar sting, Try to kill it all away, But I remember everything.

[Chorus]
What have I become, My sweetest friend, Everyone I know, Goes away in the end.
And you could have it all, My empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt.
I wear this crown of thorns, Upon my liars chair, Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair.
Beneath the stains of time, The feelings disappear, You are someone else, I am still right here.
And you could have it all, My empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt.
If I could start again, A million miles away, I will keep myself, I would find a way.

Still Searching For Peace

Dia de Los Muertos

Save the date friends! I am inviting you to my favorite event of the year!!!